He Who Makes A Beast Of Himself, Gets Rid Of The Pain
Of Being A Man!
Monday, July 09, 2007
Blues
Feeling all the blues..... trying but seems not enough. Have to try harder though. Its never enough. Its a start!
I Spoke My
Heart At
2:50:00 AM 0 comments
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
i dont know................
somewhere out there a suitable job is waiting for me. but sadly i'm just too lazy to even want to look for it. i think i'm getting myself outcast from the world. it seems calm here but still the presence just uncomfortable. still have this have this heat in my chest. it sometimes burns but i just cant do anything but feel it burn. maybe its just me. i dont want it to be like this but its happen. some times i just wanna tear cors i'm under this. could see that my childhood days wasnt like any of urs. mine was stale. unappreciated by some. some see me as a good well behaved boy then. but i dont think i'll turned out to be a well developed man. i may smile but its all fake. all i wanted to be was a part. but its still not that enough to be one. having no one to share it with, i think i know now where its going..... i reject cors i know i'm not ready... but i waisted my time then when i'm me. say thins cors u dont understand me. i dont either. i'm lost, not looking forward not even moving back. just there playing marbles on my own. thats y even if u knew waht or who i am it does make any matter.... u just dont know me. i dont know why i'm putting this down, but i just letting my fingers play with this keyboard. just like talking crap with out any topic or agenda. i could say the wrong things which i donnot really meant though. then so read it, what do i care now. i'm in this position whether i want it or not. u r not in my boots so what do u know. it's bee that long yes, since...... my last entry i poured out what on my mind. damn im feeling so emo right now. the list time i fell like this i was abusing anti-biotics, flu, ciggeretes...... things i did was just awfullly not right for me. since then i just hated my anti-social life..... getting turn down was like fuck. now i think living for me is my priority but this i life i live now still has its downs... even when i've waisted a whole 2 yrs serving them. i'm just watching people live their life to the fullest but i'm here burnng seconds..... what does it takes to be out there??? i sometime regret what i've done but thats tooooooo fucking late right.... so whats to cry about... for fuck. even when there's people to motivate me.... i just let them down... dont waste ur time. its just not worth it. as i reach out my hands... in totall darkness i'm not aware what i'm reaching out for. i cant see a thing. nor could i feell any. hoping to find my way out of this confine blackspot. or should i just lay there and wait. what if i took the wrong step and enter a deeper darkness. y try... y not to try... am i lost. even so i'm not even trying. such negativeness. its me. thats y ur not in it.
I Spoke My
Heart At
8:04:00 PM 0 comments
